8 December 2023: A Very Metal Christmas XII/15th Annual Toys For Tots : Austin, TX

 

Gather 'round boys & girls, it is the holiday season and I've got a story to tell. 

The most anticipated live music show to end the year of 2023 has come and gone. 

I prepared so much mentally for this event that I did everything within my power to overcome obstacles with my own health issues to ensure that I would attend. And it paid off!

Not to mention that it was for a very good cause, allowing children who would normally go without during the holidays and teaming up with Toys For Tots to let these children have a brighter day. And of course, the opportunity to enjoy some music that was sure to thrill and entertain. The lineup was a sure bet! 

In the past few weeks I have been battling back pain and it begs the question of whether or not I can endure an evening out and away from home and sitting up in the wheelchair for several hours. And overcoming a bout of food poisoning for being stupid enough to eat something that was no longer good without checking the expiration date. That was 100% MY FAULT.

The trip on the city bus was long and grueling to a point as there were so many people getting on/off the bus between my neighborhood and the block over from where the venue was where I would depart the bus. 

It is always this time of year that people seem to be in a rush, always looking out for themselves without regard of others. I found that I was taking a deep breath several times, trying not to take their avarice personal. 

It was really cool to get into the downtown area of Austin near Republic Square to find that trees in the park were decorated and illuminated in Christmas lights. Yet having to wait there to transfer to another bus after dark, I always feel uneasy because you never know who is out there. Other bus passengers just trying to make their way to their own destinations and mix in the drunks, drug addicts, and the occasional homeless person making a lot of noise to keep you nervously on edge. 

After a few moments of enjoying the view, the bus pulled up and I got on board and wouldn't you know it, the bus stopped at just about every freaking stop to let people on/off the bus between downtown and the venue which caused more time to slip away. Unfortunately, I was going to arrive late, and I missed the first band. 

Panic set in because I did not want to miss any of the other bands coming up after the first band. 

Wellborn Road from out of the Houston/College Station, Texas area was in town, and they are one of my top bands that I really love to see live. I've known of them since the days long ago nearly ten years prior. I have the greatest of memories of having to get on a Greyhound bus to travel to Houston just to see them play live on stage for about an hour. Back in my previous days of following Six Minute Century. 

To me, they are in my top five of 100% guaranteed "gonna have a good time" to watch!! 

After all of the delays I arrived just in time. The band was setting up the stage and then proceeded with sound check. I was relieved that I did not miss anything. 

I settled in my usual place: Front and center. But I managed to put the wheelchair alongside the barrier in front of the stage. And then I turned to face the band. In the end though that would be one of the craziest decisions I made because by the end of the set, I realized I was turning into a pretzel. I paid for it too. Lesson learned. 

I am always amazed with each and every band member of Wellborn Road and how well they work their craft as musicians. If ever I had a "guitar hero", that would be Tyler Tracy of Wellborn Road. I am always sitting there in great awe watching his stage presence and just soaking it all in. Great musician, great artist, great person. 

Before I get lost in fanboying, there was more to the evening than just that. 

The night of the event was also the anniversary of when the music world lost a very accomplished guitar player of the band Pantera, Dimebag Darrell. Wellborn Road did a wonderful tribute to him and to Pantera's music. I was blown away. 

There was a woman standing behind me and she lost her shit when she heard the tribute. I was proud of them for doing that. 

Following Wellborn Road was Austin's very own Snake Skin Prison. Another band in my top five for some of my very favorite local bands. And if you are to learn anything about Snake Skin Prison is this: wild & crazy fun. You will find a photograph of the band if you look up "shenanigans" in the dictionary. 

I must tip my hat to Snake Skin Prison and thank them publicly for putting me on the guest list, which was a TREMENDOUS help as the local store in the neighborhood had closed and I was unable to find any place nearby to purchase an unwrapped toy for Toys For Tots. 

The person at the door most likely knew who to look for because when I went through the front door, he got up from his seat with a wristband in hand and he waited for me to approach without ever saying a word. SO thank you to Snake Skin Prison for that. 

Snake Skin Prison kept the party vibes going, and then "bumped it up above eleven." 

They released a new single called "The End Of The World" and it is undoubtedly Snake Skin Prison. 

And as it was A Very Metal Christmas, the usual parody tune was played. It is the band's parodied take on "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" but instead it talks about how their bass player KEEF got runover. It is definitely a crowd pleaser!! I had the sense to notice that KEEF had exited the stage and I thought that was coming so I grabbed my phone and went to record video. I missed the first two lines of it but got the rest of the tune. So that was a proud moment that I was able to do that. 

Snake Skin Prison also made their own tribute to Dimebag Darrell during their set. In fact, shots of Blacktooth were brought to the stage and then a few left over were scattered amongst the audience in the front row. To which there was a toast and a moment taken in Dimebag Darrell's memory. I ended up with one of those shots. It is a very rare moment that I drink anything alcoholic when I am away from home because usually the venues have restrooms that are not all that accessible for wheelchairs, so I don't ever bother just as a safety precaution because alcohol and Spina Bifida and pain medications NEVER MIX! It was my first time (I believe) that I have had a Blacktooth. 

Then the drinks were flowing. I was offered a beer but took a rum & Coke instead and that was super strong with the rum and consuming it through a straw with a ton of ice led to the danger zone. But I was out of the house, hanging out with people that I have known for years and years and celebrating the holidays, so I did not mind that much. It would eventually lead to the fact that I would have to leave the party early with one band left to play which was a Metallica cover band that I had never seen before. I heard a song or two and then decided it was best to leave. My back being twisted early in the evening sitting wonky like that in front of the stage and sitting up in the wheelchair for several hours without any opportunity to rest my back, I knew that I had to call it quits for the night. 

I had a few people comment that they liked the hoodie that I was wearing. It is something that I am selling on my own online merchandise store. I was not sure if anyone would notice at all.  But I did have a few kind comments about it. 

I took all of that to heart as I went outside into the world again to make my way back home. My back hurting, a buzz going on, and the nervousness ramped up because one of the last times I went to this venue and stayed late, the late-night bus never showed up and I got stuck out in the cold that one fateful night in January of last year. I was scared that was going to happen again. 

Thankfully it did not!! I sat there waiting maybe twenty minutes and a bus showed up that took me back into the downtown area. Then I had to wait about another twenty-five minutes to make that connection so I could get back into my neighborhood. That wait downtown started to get brutal as back pain kept growing and growing. 

The bus ride into my neighborhood seemed quick though. I am thankful for that. It took a total of an hour and a half from the venue to the point where I strolled through the front door.

I took nearly 100 photographs, probably more. I posted them on social media. And I thought to myself that was probably going to be the last live music show that I will see in 2023, and I do not know what is on the horizon for January 2024. The past couple of Januarys, I picked a show to attend and called it a birthday celebration as my birthday is at the end of January. I am looking forward to finding a show for 2024. 

Second Annual Spina Bifida Awareness Raid Train Fundraiser

 

I was able to coordinate the second annual Spina Bifida Awareness Raid Train. This time it was much improved since the first raid train, as it was actually turned into a fundraiser to raise money for the Spina Bifida Association. 

A few different participants and still a couple participants returning from last year. Overall, it was a rather impressive turnout throughout the day.

A nice mix of both gaming online and live music being streamed. And a very generous number of viewers who donated to the cause.

I personally had ended the night, rather than streaming a review and wrap up the following day. I felt it to be very important to be the final participant of this event so that I could give more personal and in-depth information to explain the purpose of what we were doing and what we were there for. 

At the time of this being written, a total of $516 was raised, with an additional $20 donation coming after the event had concluded.

Never in my wildest dreams did I believe that the event would have had so much in donations. The original goal was $1,000. After thinking about it, I was going to change it to just $500 because I was beginning to believe that $1,000 was not an obtainable goal. By the time I thought about this, there had already been a few small donations coming through, so I left the goal at $1,000. 

My personal hope was that the event would raise $400 and yet deep in my heart I believed that it would only raise $200. And we're now sitting at $536. 

Needless to say, I am still in shock. Grateful, but in shock.

I want to thank everyone for their donations, and for those who participated in the event, on both sides. 

I asked during my stream if I should do a third year, and the response was very overwhelming. Therefore, grab your calendars and mark your phones for the 5th of October in 2024, which is the current tentative date. 

I still have a little regret of not having the second annual done in the month of October which is Spina Bifida awareness month. But I still would never have expected the response and results it achieved. 

Thank you for those who helped me work behind the scenes. My heart is full, and I appreciate you beyond words. See you next October!!! 

davyiseatingasandwich
youbarbapapa
JerfoTheMusicAddict
pandakaizen
AndreaCannonGuitar
SarahCameronMusic 

Should you wish to follow my live stream, you can do so here: kingdambreaker .

I will continue to have discussions and talks about Spina Bifida for as long as I am streaming on Twitch. As well as various other activities and participatory events. I am right now working on another raid train. I just had to put it on the back burner until I finished off the second annual Spina Bifida Awareness raid train. 

I will be gathering the names of those who donated in the event and including them in some future gaming that I intend to do in the future on stream. The gaming parts of my stream will be 100% inclusive with the chat. Stick around to find out more. 

Extra special thanks go to pandakaizen this year for all the help and support.

Until next time!! 


 

October Is Spina Bifida Awareness Month

 

October is Spina Bifida Awareness Month. It is a birth defect of the spine that I personally was born with. 

Spina Bifida is Latin for "open" or "split spine" which means that the spine did not fully develop during the development of the baby in the womb. This happens within the first 28 days of pregnancy.

Spina Bifida occurs within 1 or 2 of every 1,000 births within the United States. 

In further layman's terms, when a baby is born with Spina Bifida, there is a bump or a "bubble" that is seen on the back and inside of that bump is the malformed part of the spinal cord and vertebrae, and it is treated medically through surgery within the first days of the baby's life. But because of this surgery, this causes paralysis of the body. 

So the baby is physically disabled for all of its life. 

Most people do not know about Spina Bifida with the exception of two groups: those in the medical profession & someone who has a family member or close friend who was born with it. Otherwise, people are just unaware of it being in existence at all. 

There are various forms of Spina Bifida and therefore that comes with varying degrees of disability. Myelomeningocele is the most severe form of the birth defect. And that is what I personally have.

Spina Bifida is often referred to as "the snowflake condition" because no two people born with Spina Bifida have the same kinds of disability or challenges in life. 

I grew up as a child having mobility challenges by having to wear leg braces and using arm crutches. I have endured countless surgeries as I was growing. People born with Spina Bifida go through a lot of surgeries before they reach the age of 18. As I grew into adulthood, I now use a wheelchair all of the time for mobility. 

Because of the fact that Spina Bifida is not very well known, I have gone through a lot of interesting experiences when it comes to deal with people, particularly when it comes to their curiosity getting the best of them. 

I want to be very clear on a number of things: 

IT IS OKAY TO ASK QUESTIONS. Generally speaking, if you don't ask questions then you will never know. Never be afraid to ask questions.

With that being said, when people ask a question and it comes prefaced by things like "I don't mean to be rude, but..." 

Once you say something like that, we are going to automatically believe that you are about to be rude. STOP SAYING THAT! It's simple. Just ASK. 

Another thing to know is that Spina Bifida is NOT contagious. You cannot catch it by being around other people who have Spina Bifida.

Through my teenage years, I went through so many times where people avoided me because they had that irrational fear of getting what I had. It won't happen.

In decades prior there were so many cases where people with Spina Bifida were put into mental hospitals and asylums because for one, society didn't know how to deal with them and two, society did not want the condition to spread. 

Please stop asking about whether or not a person with Spina Bifida can have sexual relations or intercourse. Frankly it is none of your business. Save yourself the humiliation. But a majority of the time, the answer is YES.

If a person identifies as disabled, they are very much unlikely to be hired for employment. 

People with Spina Bifida have up to seven times more financial expenditures due to having to pay for medical equipment that they have to use throughout their entire life, and that ranges from wheelchairs to catheters and everything in between. 

People with Spina Bifida have bladder/bowel problem 100% of all cases. But adaptive medical equipment helps in those situations. 

The advances in medicine and in technology have come a long way in the efforts to making life with Spina Bifida a whole lot better. People with Spina Bifida actually live productive lives on their own. Independent living has been a very important part for me in my own life. 

Honestly, people with Spina Bifida live their lives similar to anyone else. 

Because of the fact that there are varying degrees of disability, some people don't even appear to be disabled. Spina Bifida is often called "a snowflake condition" because no two people are affected the same way. 

One thing that I will mention here is the fact that Spina Bifida affects all kinds of people in all kinds of life. 

American country musician Hank Williams Sr. was born with Spina Bifida as well as American rocker John Mellencamp - and that is something you probably were not aware of.

Mexican painter Frida Kahlo has also been suspected to have been born with Spina Bifida. 

I could go on and on and on listing people from world's history who either have been born with Spina Bifida or has been suspected but that would make for a much longer blog post. 

On the most personal of notes: 

I use a wheelchair to rely on mobility. I have paralysis from the knees down. I also have no feeling or sensation from the knees down. 

I have had dozens of surgeries throughout my lifetime. I had had countless of hospitalizations throughout my life. 

My teachers were terrified of me when I went through grade school. I found out later in life that the reason why they were so terrified of me was because they had never had a disabled student in their classroom before. 

In third grade I was bullied by a group of girls from my own class. And I would imagine the disability only made it worse. 

High school and college were more of the same. 

I survived it though. 

As an adult I realized that there will always be someone that I will come into contact with that won't know anything about my disability and I will have to explain and educate. 

And today, I do all the things that everyone else does in daily life. I just do them differently. 

I travel, I go out and enjoy things in life like live music, I speak several languages, I sing, I write. I do it all. I breathe in and breathe out and then repeat. 

I realize that this blog post is scattered but I did not want to forget anything that came to mind that I wanted to say. But I know that there will be things that I will forget.

As it is October, this blog post serves as a tool for awareness for Spina Bifida. The colored ribbons commonly used are either yellow or teal. 

As I write this, it is the 25th of October which is World Spina Bifida Day. I am wearing teal. 

I hope that this has been helpful for you. I hope that it creates an open space for you inside of your mind. Leave your questions in the comment section below if there is something that you would like to know about my life with Spina Bifida.

Five Years After The Fire

This definitely is a day that I will never forget for the rest of my life. I suffered an apartment fire on this day (the 18th of October) in 2018 and lost everything I had. 

A few days before the fire, I was having a conversation with one of the neighbors and we were discussing the time back in 2008 where I had left a relationship and had returned to Austin, Texas after living with my then girlfriend in the Massachusetts and Rhode Island area. The neighbor just could not understand how I was able to essentially get up and walk out the door and leave everything I owned behind. 

What I said in response was a foreshadow that nobody would see coming. I replied, "Think of it as losing everything in a fire." 

THE TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE


Sometime in the middle of the night on October 17th, 2018, Austin Texas was asleep. It was the first time that the weather had turned colder at night, and it was raining. It was also the first time that people were turning on their heaters. 

I fell asleep on the couch and at some time between 3:30 and 4:00 AM, I was slowly waking up. I was coughing and I smelled something out the ordinary. As I laid upon the couch, I thought to myself "Why is any of the neighbors burning incense at this time of night? And why does this incense smell so bad?" 

Minutes later, I could hear someone outside screaming repetitiously. I recognized the voice of the neighbor who lived in the apartment next to me to the east and she was frantically screaming. Once I was awake enough to pay attention, I realized what she was saying. 

"Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!" -- just over and over and over again. 

I got up from the couch and I saw a bright glow around the window. As I went to the window to investigate, I started to assume that perhaps the apartment complex on the other side of the fence had a fire. 

While I peeked through the blinds, I saw nothing but darkness. No flames or anything. Until one small ember began to fall in front of my eyes towards the ground. My head peeked upwards, and I realized that there was a fire and what I was smelling was not incense but smoke. My roof was engulfed with flames. 

My first action was to go over to the computer desk where I had a lot of things sitting there. I moved my arm in one swipe and gathered things up to put into the pockets of the hoodie that I was wearing: Keys, wallet, cell phone, and a few other skull rings that were there. 

My coughing started to intensify, and I knew that I soon had to escape. I reached to the floor to grab the footrests to attach them to my wheelchair but could not readily locate them in the dark. I moved towards the light switch, but something caught my attention. One of the vents located in the ceiling was glowing. I could see flames through the darkness that the attic was on fire. 

Needless to say, that the electricity was out, and the coughing was more and more frequent. That was when I decided to leave and try to escape whatever was raging above my head. 

I went to the front door and pressed my hands against it to see whether or not the door was hot and after finding it safe I opened the door to leave. 

The screen door was wide open though and the second I opened the door; I saw a massive swirling cloud of smoke rush into the apartment. 

As I went outside, I noticed to myself that the weather was dreary and cold, and still I knew that I had to get as far away from the building as possible. 

I moved towards the west and had planned to go around the building towards the other side where I knew people would be able to see where I was at. Unfortunately, as I moved closer to the neighboring apartment to the west, I could visibly see that the bulk of the fire was burning over that specific apartment unit. While I tried to cross the bridge, I had to stop and turn around and go east again, then move south towards the parking lot to ensure that I was far enough away from the burning building. I was no longer able to move west because of the soaring temperatures that came from the fire. 

It was the hottest thing I had ever experienced in my entire life. 

Other neighbors began to emerge from their homes and other people who realized something was wrong were also outside mingling with the others who just had escaped. 

The fire department showed up as well as several emergency vehicles and a few police officers. 

The fire department had warned everyone to get back because once they started to fight the fire, they warned that the amount of smoke was about to get intense. 

By then the fire had rolled over the roof and directly over the top of my apartment and I sat there in the dark and rain fearful of what was to come. 

Eventually a school bus was employed and many of the neighbors who had escaped (plus a few more who were just swallowed up in the mix) were transported to a high school gymnasium that was within the neighborhood. 

I thought it was strange that even more emergency services were already in the gym and set up. There was in a trauma team walking around talking with people. 

After sitting in that gym for what must have been at least an hour, I heard someone announce that we were heading back to the apartment complex. I thought "Why?? Nobody is there to open the doors to the main building. Our homes are on fire, and it is raining." 

I had no idea that the apartment manager at that time had showed up and opened the door to the main building. 

Both sides of the street were filled with emergency vehicles. All of them with their lights flashing. The street had been cut off at the intersection and nobody was able to get in or get out of the neighborhood. 

Of the eight apartment units that made up the building, one was vacant. And six people were in that gym but nobody knew where that seventh person was at, and it began to get a little scary to think of what might have happened to him. The very neighbor the west was not with us when we evacuated. 

We did find him sitting in the main building and everyone sighed in relief. Everyone who was living in the building that caught fire, had made it out of their units and were unharmed physically.

My sister would arrive shortly after that. The apartment manager saw that she was my emergency contact and called her. She came along with both of her children.

As the sun came up on that day of the 17th, I decided that I was going to write a post on social media. I wanted it to be direct but short. It was just enough to stir up dozens and dozens of people and just within two hours of me getting out the apartment to escape the fire, my cell phone was ringing off the hook from people who were concerned about me as I never wrote in the post that I was physically okay. I would edit that later, but the worry had set in for many. 

My BFF in Houston was the first person to actually call on the phone, who was not immediately family. Important to point out as she hated talking on the phone. She would much rather have a text message conversation than talk on the phone. Yet she wanted to hear it for herself that I was okay. I could not yet tell her what exactly happened as I did not know, and the fire department was still looking for hot spots. She mentioned that she would have been on her way to Austin to come pick me up and take me back to Houston, but she was unable to because she didn't have the gas. 

Several other people would call me throughout that morning and afternoon, but the amount of shock that I was in, I was not really prepared or able to talk about what just had happened because I felt that I honestly did not know. I was stuck between trying to explain to people who were calling me what was going on and having trouble staying on track with the fact that I need to act because I needed to find a place to stay now that I had lost my home. My sister did the very best that she could to help me stay on track until I was approached by the social services coordinator who works here at the apartment complex, stating that a hotel room had been booked for me for one night and it had been paid for. 

I had spoken to the American Red Cross, and they gave me a debit card with about $375 on it and made the suggestion that it was to be used so I can start taking that first step forward in life. After a pat on the back and three bottles of water, they wished me well. 

Towards the late afternoon, I was still answering messages on social media as the news had spread far and wide. People with the same questions, but I felt I had no answers. I was told that later on, I was in so much shock that there could not have been any possibility that I could have answered any questions at that time. 

Several people were asking about setting up a GoFundMe account. Many were saying that if I figured out what I needed then I could let them know because they would help. 

Eventually a local band formerly known as "The Mrs" would put together that GoFundMe account that would raise over $3600 of a $5000 goal. A large portion of that would go towards living a hotel room from week to week until I was able to find a more stable and temporary place to live. 

And while that was happening, I received a message from Mandy Prater, one of the band members of "The Mrs", checking to see if I was okay. 

Mandy asked if I had eaten anything and of course the answer was no, so she offered to bring me food. She honestly showed up with the food just in time because the main office building was about to close for the day, and I was going to be whisked away to a hotel and uncertain future. 

I was so thankful for her help. 

The next eight weeks, I had survived living in a hotel room paying for it week by week. I even made sure to go out every once in a while, to be seen in public by going to see live music. Literally anyone who had known me from the live music scene had heard about the fire and every time I went out and showed up, people would approach to ask if I was okay. I wanted to get away from the hotel and go back to enjoying live music like I had before. But I also felt that it was important for others to see me there so that they knew that I was okay.

WHAT HAPPENED SINCE THEN

Eight weeks of living in three different hotels, and I received a phone call from the apartment manager that a different apartment complex was willing to allow me a place to be while the apartment was to be rebuilt. It was in a different side of Austin. The place was built in the 1970's so there was no accessibility whatsoever. I was just thankful to have a place to stay where I could go back to paying monthly rent, rather than having to pay by the week. 

It was suggested at the time that it would take eight months to have the place rebuilt. But everyone was super skeptical about that time frame. It took thirteen months. 

During that time, I was able to use whatever donations I had left from either the GoFundMe or from other sources to survive for over a year. But like I said, the apartment was not wheelchair friendly or accessible. 

It was so bad that I could not even get the wheelchair inside of the bathroom. If ever I needed to be in there, I would have to push the wheelchair against the door frame, lock the brakes, and then jump towards the bathtub or the toilet and hope I did not slip or miss. 

I was on the seventh floor and thankful that the door led to an elevator. 

For about a month, I slept on an air mattress that I bought. I hardly had any clothes to wear. No furniture or anything. No computer or Internet. But soon those things would fall into place. 

Again, I must mention that Mandy Prater stepped up again to help and she put out the call to everyone she knew to gather the things that I made a list of what I was needing at that time. 

Others volunteered a lot to help out. Including the Los Angeles based metal band, Raven Black. There were a lot of strangers from that band's community that I ended up being friends with online.

Less than a year of being in that temporary residence, life began to fall apart once again. This time, it was my health. 

I had finally been given a bed, a TV, some furniture and what not. The bed would be the beginning of the decline in health as it was very, very hard and difficult to sleep in. The mattress was rough, but I tried very hard not to complain about it because it was better than nothing. I wanted to be grateful and appreciative of all the things that I did come to have even if it was from the generosity of others. 

It led me down the path of getting so sick that I ended up in the hospital in mid-November 2019. 

A few days into that hospitalization, I received a phone call from family that the apartment had been rebuilt and I was able to move back in. This news was bittersweet as I had been waiting over a year for that call, but I felt crushed and defeated because I was lying in a hospital bed and not having any idea when I would be able to be discharged. 

During that time, members of my family came to Texas to gather up what little I had to move it back to the apartment. My older brother went above and beyond to help get things that I really needed such as a brand-new bed and a computer desk and put it all together and put it in place so that I would have it there when I got out of the hospital. 

I would be dealing with that hellacious experience until February 2020. It was fatal and it would have killed me had I not gone to the hospital. The experience took so much out of me that life shifted and changed for me as far as physical health was concerned. My mental health because of the fire was completely traumatized and damaged. And there I was lying in a hospital bed, almost dead. 

Going to see live music was not a priority at that point when I finally returned to the apartment complex after the fire. 

I still went out though. Just less than two weeks, I went to see "The Mrs" and then a few days later I saw Britny Lobas play with the band she was in at the time. That had major consequences to pay for. From those two times that I went out I realized for sure that I would not be able to go out anymore until I had fully recovered from literally everything that I had gone through. 

Less than a month later: COVID-19. 

LIFE SINCE COVID-19

The world was affected by the pandemic. Literally everyone living in it at the time had troubles and hardships while trying to live their life during shutdowns and quarantines and guidelines and everything else that went along with it. 

Eventually, I would discover live streaming. Musicians and entertainers were looking for a way to keep making a living and live streaming on social media was the beginning of it all, until most of them found the Twitch platform. 

From Twitch, I would be able to watch and listen to all kinds of people playing music. It would be the only source of having a social life for me. And I have met some incredible people on Twitch and some amazing talent worldwide!! 

From morning until night, a person could always rely on finding someone doing a live stream that fit their interests. 

And that's what I would do for such a long time because there was no place to go. Sitting in front of a computer screen and absorbing all the music being played. 

Even that would turn into more problems as I sat there without moving for hours. Having Spina Bifida has been difficult from birth, not having any sensation of the lower parts of my body. And not moving around in my wheelchair when I needed to. It turned into yet another visit to the hospital in the summer of 2022 and again, my health was so poor that my condition was nearly fatal... again. The poor choices that I made to sit there for hours and hours led to a catastrophic consequence. 

I don't think that my body fully recovered 100% from the time back in late 2019. The wound that I deal with today still remains and isn't showing signs of progression or healing at all. Thankfully though it hasn't gotten any worse. 

Members of my family have stated a few times that the last five years (health wise) have been a complete nightmare. And it all started with the fire followed by one event after another after another. 

Since COVID-19, I haven't been well. Physically, mentally, emotionally. My BFF who wanted to rescue me and bring me to Houston with her, passed away after beating breast cancer but being diagnosed with a brain tumor. Another died while I was in the hospital during the most recent stay with no word of her ever being sick and I never had the chance to speak to her one more time before she passed. And I have not been able to see any people that I love and cherish the most in years.

I have been to just a handful of shows locally. I have not traveled outside of Austin. But it seems like those days of going out for live music five times a week or more are over. Now I just consume music online. 

The past five years can definitely be considered a shit show. I try so hard to think of the positives and adore the fact that I still have those people in my heart who still have my back and are always in my corner. I love you very much. 

Will time heal all wounds? I say: That remains to be seen, and so as always - STAY TUNED. 



Below are some images that were found of the fire and immediately afterward:

27 August 2023: Britny Lobas: A&R Foundation Launch Party at CATIL: Austin, Texas

 

Britny's back!

Summer rages on in Austin, Texas and so does the live music. The thing one thing that I love the most about this city. 

Needless to say, that neither summer nor winter weather has ever stopped me from going to see live music once I have put my mind to it. 

The beginning of the evening was nerve-wracking I must admit. After stalling from going outside to hop on a bus for as late as I could to deal with the 106°F (or 41°C). But I miscalculated everything and went out at the hottest time of the day, therefore I waited in the heat. And strangely enough, no buses came when they were scheduled or supposed to arrive. The longer I waited, the more I started to have second thoughts about going out at all. 

Yet at the very time that I began to convince myself that I should bail, the bus FINALLY was spotted coming up the street. At that point, I was committed to going. 

With the tardiness of the bus arriving, I was convinced that I would be super late for the event. I found that Britny Lobas was starting things off and the horror began to wash over me. Being late, probably not that big of a deal. But as I waited for a second bus, I started to believe that I would miss Britny's set completely. It was a terrible feeling. 

When I boarded the second bus in the downtown area, I was just wracked with being nervous. I knew that once I got off the bus, I still had to go on my own to down the street and over one block just to reach the door. Also, I was unsure whether or not I would find inconvenience when I went inside due to not being able to print off the ticket that I purchased so long ago. 

My original plan was to stop by a convenience store before going to the show. I went for plan B and just kept going until I reached the front door the venue. 

Hot, probably dehydrated, tired, and hungry I arrived at the venue. My mind had totally convinced me that I would not miss the entire show, but I would miss MOST of it. 

Once I told the person at the door that I was on the list, I realized that there was no music playing at all! 

I asked, "Have they started yet with music?" and the person I looked to shook her head. 

Incredible!!! 

Even after waiting for late buses, I had not missed any of the music. 

I took my place front and center of the stage and waited. I did not have to wait too long though. Band members marched on stage, and I knew it was GO TIME! 

After the first song, Britny told the crowd to approach closer. I happily obliged.

I crammed myself up against the barricade as best I could. CATIL has a barricade that is ridiculously wonky for anyone who is in a wheelchair. Anyone else can just walk up and lean on it and be close to the stage. 

For the rest of the show, I focused only on the band. 

The high voltage that Britny Lobas brings causes a person to be engaged to the fullest capacity. If you are looking for pure entertainment, then Britny Lobas will not disappoint. 

The one thing that I found was new, was the addition of a backing vocal by the name of Sydney. Sydney has a stage presence that is hard to ignore. Put her together with Britny and you have TWO powerhouses on one stage, and they work together so well. Their voices combined gives you the sense of magnificence, and yet a force to be reckoned with.

I am looking forward to hearing more from the two of them. I understand that Sydney and guitarist Cole, have together a band of their own. I am eagerly looking into this.

As I understand, Britny Lobas will have more live shows in the coming weeks and months. I will clear any calendar day to make sure that I can go, if at all possible. 

For now, I have these memories currently. Summer will roar on and so shall I. Stay tuned for more show reviews here.

20 July 2023: The Reverent Few at Swan Dive: ATX

 

Nearly six months later I made the return to the Red River District at Swan Dive for some very familiar faces. 

Once more I found myself re-connecting with musicians that have been a large part of my live music experiences but had not seen them perform since before the pandemic. In fact, the last time I saw them perform was during SXSW 2019, but far away from the craziness of that event in the south part of town. I would see them personally at a different venue and show in February of 2020.

The very much impassioned The Reverent Few was performing at Hot Summer Nights. A four-night event within the Red River District which offered free live music for the city of Austin. 

Another wonderful "reunion" for lack of a better term, and it was going down on the very same street where I met the fierce some foursome for the very first-time way back in May 2016.

I think that the name of the event "Hot Summer Nights" was very much appropriate as temperatures this summer have been swelling above 105 degrees. The heat and humidity were certain to be a challenge as I made my way to the venue. 

When I arrived, I quickly realized that I had made it there before the band did. But within a few moments, that had changed. The second that they saw me there, the emotions were sky high! Yet I had tried to save the energy for when the band was on stage. 

I did not have to wait very long as the four of them took to the stage. The crowd (as small and as sparse as it was) was totally into it. There was dancing, there was cheering, there was even screaming. And it all was an experience that took me back into my memories of watching The Reverent Few play time and time again. 

Rock and roll together with soul and you have one of the best live music performances that you will ever lay your eyes on. I have always loved how well the vocals of Paige DeChausse and guitarist Nick Boettcher on the back up combine for those times where you get shivers up and down your spine.


Now that things are far better in the world, I am hoping to catch up with The Reverent Few a lot more in the coming days and weeks. 

Just check them out. They are amazing. 

10 June 2023: Lynch Mob/XYZ at Buck's Backyard: Buda, TX

 

Life has been wild lately. I recently have spent a lot of time with everyone in my family. I had a nephew graduate from high school and everyone was there. It was a special time that has not transpired in such a long time. And on top of that I've had some different changes happening that took some time getting used to. And so I sat down thinking that I was missing something, that thing was to write about the time and experiences I had in early June 2023... with family. 

So yeah, here I am. 

My younger brother and I are close in age. And we did have some similarities in musical tastes growing up. He had made the decision that while he was here, that he would get tickets to a concert. All four of us siblings were included in this plan. The eldest however was not interested. 

The three of us siblings who decided to go was going to be out and about doing our own thing and it was exciting to think about as we planned to go to the concert. 

My brother and I met up with my sister and her two children at the venue. My brother had picked up a reserved table and the venue had placed us right up next to the stage behind a robe that separated us from the GA. 

I would be a lot closer to the action on the stage that I thought that I would be. And I just cannot complain. 

The opening band was a trio from Dallas, Texas. The most memorable thing that I experienced as their cover of Lewis Capaldi's "Someone You Loved." I have to admit that the only reason why I knew the song was because of various Twitch music streamers who play that song on their live stream. 

I sang along, loud and proud. 

Then in between the first band and XYZ, I had a shocking magical moment. Terry Ilous, the lead singer of XYZ, had walked through the RSVP section of the venue and I had no idea that he was approaching until he patted me on the back and I heard him say "Hey! You made it. Good to see you!!" 

As I turned around, Terry was standing right next to me. And I shook his hand. 

I am not ashamed to say that I had a fan girl moment as I clasped hands with him. This man who I remember seeing on MTV was shaking my hand and initiating conversation first with me. Even though it was brief, I was able to snag a selfie with him before he went up on stage. 

XYZ started to play and all of the memories came flooding back. Songs like "Inside Out" and "Face Down In The Gutter" and many other awesome songs that I remember listening to over and over and over again. 

After the set, Terry Ilous and the band took an intermission. But I knew what was going to happen as the entire show was pitched to me as "They are going to play songs from the band Dokken." 

It was 100% factual and true. A little time passed and then Terry Ilous introduced George Lynch to the stage. 

My younger brother and I were excited for this to happen. We kept guessing which Dokken songs were going to be played. But since I was so close to the stage, I could see the set list lying there. The magic of discovery was regrettably broken. I did not say anything to my brother about it though. 

The crowd went nuts. Terry Ilous on lead vocals and the original Dokken guitarist George Lynch playing. It was a great time. They finished with their most recent recorded song "Dead Or Alive".

A very short list of songs and then another intermission and Lynch Mob set up to play and finished off the night. 

Then I suddenly realized that the area that was sectioned off away from GA and where I was sitting so close to the stage, I had George Lynch, the man himself, standing just feet away from my face. I could have reached out and touched him because he was that close. 

Because of his involvement in the band Dokken, he was another person growing up that I remember seeing so much on MTV. My brother and I owned the albums and we sat there in our bedrooms just wailing at air guitar pretending we were George Lynch. 

When I realized just how freaking close, it was blowing my mind. It suddenly came to me that never once in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would see George Lynch in person or on stage and definitely not be that close to him. 

Lynch Mob closed out that night and then and only then did I realize just how much my back was hurting. It was intense and incredible. I had been sitting up in the wheelchair for several hours without much moving around. It was one of those kinds of pains that you knew you had made such a sacrifice. My brother promptly brought me home. 

The night was fun. 

I do hope to have more concert going experiences in the future. If I do, I hope not to wait so long to blog and document the experiences. 

20 May 2023: The Petticoat 5 at 360 Uno : Austin, TX

 

I just experienced another live music show. And Britny Lobas is back, but as The Petticoat 5. The rocking duo including Garrett Jay Brown. 

It was an evening of firsts. And I am glad that I had the opportunity to experience it. 

I had never been to 360 Uno before. I was not sure what to expect and I was in for the wild ride. 

It had been some time since I had seen Britny and Garrett play live together in Britny's band back in January. 

The greatest part was that neither of them knew that I was coming or even thought that I would be there. When I rolled through the door, both of them exploded with excitement. And that was even before the music got started. It really set the tone for the evening. And I feel like it only went up from there. 

A two-hour set within an intimate setting, surrounded by Italian food, and a group of people that came along. I was all set. 

I was overwhelmingly surprised when they covered Grace Potter's "Medicine" which was a song I had not heard Britny perform live in a great number of years. "Careless Whisper" was another surprising cover. As well as playing some original songs that they wrote together. It was a wonderful blend. I am hopeful to hear "You Gotta Run" played live in the future under whatever combination of musicians that Britny falls in. It's a great song. One that she wrote alongside her father. 

I have always been amazed by the talents of Garrett Jay Brown with his knowledge of multiple instruments and his level of dedication to his craft. When you mix that with Britny's unmistakable voice, it equals one hell of a good time. The kind that makes you forget about life for a while. And that's the kind of escapism that I look for when I find music. 

After knowing Britny for seven years or at least following along with her music career, I suddenly realize that I do not get many chances to see her perform live. Yet I was so glad that I got that chance because under those circumstances and the location of that venue, I probably will not get another chance to see another live performance there again. So, I am glad I had that experience, for sure!! 

Philography

 

One definition of the word "philography" would be "the collecting of autographs, especially those of famous persons" which of course is a rather unusual way of putting it as we all have our own ways of defining someone who is famous. 

The hobby is something that I started when I was very young. I remember hearing stories from older generations of people that they had collected an autograph of someone at some point in their life and they cherished it as one of their most prized possessions. They would go on and on about how valuable it was and how much it meant to them. 

As a young child, my world was full of people who I believed to be famous, and I really thought that it would be a wonderful thing to achieve getting their autographs. I went on a mission to collect autographs all the way through life until a few years ago. 

I collected autographs and obtained them through what I believe, in the most curious of ways as I have had just about anything and everything written upon from bed sheets to unused rolls of toilet paper to the standard photograph and paper. 

Until 2018, I had one of the largest autograph collections out there with various signatures. I am not saying that it was the best collection in the world, nor am I saying that it was the most valuable. But to me, it was satisfying. And then one day in October I lost it all.

So why do I collect autographs and why do people often ask for them of other people? 

First and foremost, the autograph is a tangible possession. In some ways it is a personal connection between the person signing it and the person receiving it. 

When it comes to someone famous, it is a way of showing that the person asking for the autograph did in fact meet someone considered to be famous. And it becomes a part of their memories of meet that famous person. Other people seek out certain autographs for their value. 

I tend to ask people for their autograph for nearly the same reasons, but also, I want something that I can be reminded of them. To reflect and smile and be happy with those memories of that person to why I asked them to start with. 

Of all the autographs that I had in my collection, there were very few signatures that I had from people whom society would call "famous" at all. Yet it still meant something to me and a lot more than whether or not they were valuable or famous enough. 

I have even signed a few autographs myself in my lifetime. When I was eight years old, I appeared on television for a statewide aired commercial. I remember being taken out of school early for that day to record two commercials. One where I was standing the background while an adult spoke, and the other commercial where I had "dialogue" with a girl who also appeared alongside me. It was a fundraising campaign for disabled children in the area. Once that commercial hit the TV air waves, I had teachers and even the school principal asking for my autograph. Though in my lifetime, I have probably signed my signature maybe 50-60 times. 

The reason for this post is because I most recently asked someone for their autograph and they stalled and stalled and stalled for days before finally sending me their autograph. They kept making excuses that they were not famous enough to sign autographs and the number one excuse that I receive when asking someone for their autograph is because they say it has absolutely no value at all and is worthless. 

You know what though? Considering someone to be famous is a matter of personal opinion. I don't really care for the celebrities that we see Hollywood and the like. I prefer to receive the signatures of someone more down to earth for lack of a better term. Someone who isn't jaded and tainted by the industry of Hollywood. 

If I am asking you for your autograph, then you can be assured that I have already found plenty of value in you and/or what you do. Therefore, I shall seek it and will do so until it is received. 

And the collection that I had ever since I was a child? The number of signatures were in the thousands. Not the world's largest collection by any means, but it was decades of working with the hobby. And I will note that in 2020 I decided to start over again. The collection today is very small by comparison. But a hobby is a hobby and I enjoy the sentimental value of everyone's signature that I have collected since starting the collection over again. 

Remembering Sandy

 

Life is strange. Life is also short. But once in a while we find ourselves crossing paths with another person that changes our lives in so many ways that when we look back, we seem to be unable to fathom what it once used to be. 

For many people who frequent Twitch live streams and more specifically Twitch music, that person was Sandy. 

SandyRay as he was known, passed away on February 6th, 2023. His absence is felt so strongly these past few days as Twitch communities far and wide only learned of his passing on February 22nd. As they say, "the shock waves are being felt around the world." 

Sandy was a very well-known person and very well loved and adored by so many within the Twitch community. 

He was an extremely supportive person. He was there for so many Twitch streamers when they were just getting started. He was there when he came across someone that was new to him. His encouragement, support, and love were unwavering and loyal towards all whom he met. He knew many by their first names, he reached out to those who were in their hour of need. 

He particularly gave the exact words that people needed to hear in their lives at the right moment so that others could gain the strength to endure in whatever trials and tribulations that they faced.

When Sandy began to stream personally, it surprised many people of his musical talents that he had not yet shared publicly with the world on the platform of Twitch. Everyone was struck in awe. 

And then the moment happened in which I personally believe began his legacy in this world. He opened up to his own community, sharing bits and pieces of his personal life. I remember being there watching his stream when he began to talk about a few things that were personal to him. I remember how his own community began to show their own support for Sandy. The response was overwhelming. 

And through his heartfelt actions, he performed a song that he wrote on his stream. That song is called "Silver Linings." 

I recall everyone saying that they were in tears. Sandy himself was even in tears. The powerful message within his song was something that nobody could avoid. 



When you feel so out of place, and the smile on your face has turned into endless worry Don't lose your hope, the battle is far from over Just reach out your hand, I will be with you 'til the end [Chorus] You're not alone, I'll help you fight, and break away the walls so you can see the light So then you'll know, which way to go, there are better days just around the corner.

This was very serious. And everyone could sense it. Every person that ever visited his stream could feel it in their soul. And they all found their very own personal connection to the song. 

I have very many fond memories of Sandy with interactions with him on Twitch. To the point where I called him a "rockstar" and he called me "brother." Those who know me personally know that if I am calling you by a nickname that I came up with, it is really a term of endearment. 

Sandy's reach and influence is quite vast. There are countless communities that he was a part of. So many different families along the way, all shared through a common bond of a live streaming platform. The sad news of Sandy's passing has trickled down through countless people. 

I cannot help but feel that Sandy not only wrote "Silver Linings" for himself, but also for all of us! 

The lyrics are very telling. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 

I hope that we can remember that throughout our various Twitch communities and families that we have, that we can realize that we are not alone, that we have one another. And we can get through this together. 

Let us remember that Sandy was there for all of us. Let us remember that he is forever with us in our hearts and in our minds, and the memory of him - his strength, encouragement, love, and respect will remain within us for the rest of our own lives. 

Do not be afraid to call upon each other when you are finding yourself in your own time of need, in your loneliest hours. We are here for each other. We do not have to bear our loads alone. Sandy told all of this in his song. 

Sandy, my brother, I love you. And I told you that so many times while you were still here with us.

Now that you are no longer here in our presence, our hearts are heavy. Thank you for the most precious gift that was you. Eternally we will be grateful for you and all that you had done for us. 

14 January 2023: Britny Lobas at Swan Dive: Austin, Texas

 

First live music show of 2023! 

This had been a long time coming. I feel like I have missed so much with live music experiences. I hope that I can continue to go to future shows. 

My heart is still full after going down to Swan Dive in Austin, Texas. It was personal. It was VERY personal. 

It was a night of reuniting so to speak, because I had not seen Britny Lobas perform on stage since the 27th of February 2020. For those of you who are calculating at home, that is over one THOUSAND days since I had seen her last. Nearly three full years!!

That show in February 2020 was right in the pocket in between the time that I was in the hospital and the beginning of a global pandemic. Live shows after that were non-existent. 

This was the best opportunity to find her once again. It was a risk that I felt that I needed to take. 

I did rest for most of the day because I knew that it was going to be grueling on the body for sitting up in the wheelchair for several hours. I prepared the best that I could and then I got up, got changed, and went out the door to get on the city bus. 

I wanna say: slick pants plus bus rides... equal adventure. I kept feeling like I was about to slide right off the wheelchair every time the bus driver pressed on the break. Thankfully I did not. 

The moment I showed up at Swan Dive, staff members at the door looked at me as if they thought that I was lost. But I approached the door, and they realized that I was coming in. It was the first time that venue security had used a handheld wand to make sure everything about me was legit.

The door person seemed to be either stoned or drunk or both. It took her forever to take the entrance fee and give change, then stamp the inside of the wrist to show that I had paid. 

Somehow, she swindled me to giving her some of the change back as "tip" as I gave her $2.

The first person I saw was Britny's husband, Andrew. I greeted him and he called out for Britny's attention. 

When she turned to look, our gazes caught one another. Britny came running over like a speeding bullet and knowing how long it had been since we had seen each other, we embraced one another and this long time without seeing each other had come to a glorious end. 

1,052 Days. And then suddenly we were looking at each other again with our own eyes.

It was emotional. That is all I want to say about that. 

At the time that I arrived at the venue there was a musician by the name of Peter Feliciano. He performed a rocking version of "Creep" by Radiohead. I did enjoy his performance and I am going to be following him in the future. 

Britny was selling new merchandise and I just could not let that go by. I wanted both t-shirts she had but could not afford it. I hope to snag the other t-shirt that I don't have the next time that I see her perform. 

When it was time for Britny to get up on stage, I took my usual place right up front and just waited. 

The stage lights were burning, the music was rocking, and there I watched Britny in her element. And I started to feel like she had a little earlier in the evening when I arrived.  I watched her perform, and I kept thinking, "This is real. This is actually happening, and I am here in person to see it." 

Tears started to fall down my face. I sat there moving and grooving but the realization of where I was at that time was overwhelming and a positive feeling. I felt like I was on top of the world again. 

Britny Lobas is basically FIRE. She is so animated on stage, and I love it. She is not the kind of musician that is going to stand there in front of a microphone, but rather she moves around all sides of the stage. And she even took off down the stairs from the stage and mingled and danced with the crowd that I had not realized had grown so big. It was amazing how many people were there and really paying attention to what was happening. That had to be a great feeling for her and for the rest of the musicians on stage. 

Around the time the song "Hollow" was performed, my body decided to remind me of why I haven't gotten out very much over the last year. There were a few more songs that Britny would perform before it was over, so I endured as best that I could. 

After the set, I grabbed a set list as it is custom for me to do so that if I wanted, I could have the artist autograph it. Those of you who know me personally know how I feel about collecting autographs. 

I went outside towards the back of the venue and in the alley was a makeshift dance floor and a tent covering the DJ. Things were just going bonkers out there. I took a Tylenol that I had stashed in my wallet and hoped for the best. Somebody came up to me, asking if I would "share the wealth" because they thought I was taking recreational medicine.

Quickly I moved back inside to get away from that. But I was pleasantly surprised to see so many people enjoying themselves just by dancing in an alley. 

The venue though had cleared out. I do not know what had happened. Britny was finished and it seemed like a majority of the people who were just having a blast had left. It was so strange. There was one more act to follow. A musician who had said she had come to Austin from Canada several years ago. I felt bad for her, but my body felt worse. 

I grabbed my set list and tossed a Sharpie to Britney. She knew what was coming from that point. After she signed the set list, she and I took a selfie together. We both made a promise to not let it get over 1,000 days until the next time we saw each other again. I personally do not want it to go over 200 days, which is just over six months. It will depend on scheduling and where she is going to be playing again and if I can make it there. Things just get limited when I have to rely on a city bus to get from A to B. But some way, somehow, I have made it work innumerable times since 2014. Even though I have missed quite a lot in the past. 

As I said farewell to Britny, I turned away and went for the door so she couldn't see the tears that were welling up in my eyes.

I took off down the middle of Sixth Street as per usual. Nearly ran through some horse manure in the street. I guess the horse mounted police officers were there at some point. 

I kept going and I heard some woman yelling in my general direction. But since this is Sixth Street, I keep my head straight ahead but low. She apparently followed me for one block before she caught up to me and dangled my keys in my face. Apparently, I dropped them but do not know how. I was thankful she persisted to return them.

Two blocks away from the block where I needed to be to get on the city bus, I saw the very bus that I needed to get on board start driving away. There was nothing that I could do about it since I was so far away. I knew that another one was coming so I slowed down my pace to reach the bus stop, trying to waste time as I figured that I had about thirty minutes of waiting for the next bus to arrive. 

My body decided to go on full revolt. My back was so sore, and I couldn't figure out a position to sit in while waiting for the next bus to arrive. I remember lifting up from the chair and that was a bit of relief, then I felt like two or three vertebrae pop from out of nowhere. It was enough relief for the bus to arrive. From the time that I arrived at the bus stop to the time the bus pulled up, it was about twenty minutes. I didn't think it was too bad. 

But all hell broke loose, and it was out of my control. I rolled up to the bus and the driver opened the door. I was waiting for her to let down the ramp so that I could get on board but she said asked for me to wait because someone was coming off. An elderly woman who moved extremely slow, clinging on to all the different parts of the bus for stability. I wondered how she was going to handle things once the bus took off and she couldn't hang on to anything.

After the woman cleared the ramp, the bus driver again denied me access on board the bus saying, "Bus is broken." I do not know what happened. 

It was after 2:00 AM at this point and I had to wait for ANOTHER bus to come. That bus did not show up until 2:30 AM. 

I arrived at home around a few minutes after 3:00 AM. It was a very long night sitting up in the wheelchair. Thanks to a global pandemic, I am out of practice of hanging and chilling for a night out of live music and staying until the very end. 

I am just happy that I got out and that I got to be around Britny Lobas once again. Check out songs "Be The One" and "Hollow" wherever you listen to music. 

Britny Lobas